your thong is hanging out like whoa
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Your cock deserves a montage
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
