I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
