im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
