ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
