dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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