Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
