i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
