ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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