Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
