The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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