Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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