I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
