Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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