can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
