I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
