So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have already put on my inside pants.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
