Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
