hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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