Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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