But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
