It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
