Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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