This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
we're so committed to being not committed
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
