I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
