My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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