I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
