They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
