Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
