I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
