bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
