Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
