You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
