i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
