gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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