My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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