Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
