i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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