If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
