Jerry, you need to find god
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
