how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
