thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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