how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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