I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
