wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
