remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
