Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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