So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
