Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
