im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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