Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
